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*gives a pet to the ground* for cerberus

other offerings you can make for the infernal doggy:

  • bury a doggy bone, human or (preferably) otherwise
  • souls
  • if souls aren’t available, bacon is an okay substitute

does that mean when dogs bury bones they’re making an offering to Cerberus?

gotta secure that ticket to the elysian dog park somehow

Doggo Faith tells that GOOD BOYS who BURY MANY BONE will be welcomed by Cerberus into the Dog Park and receive MANY PETTINGS and MUCH SAUSAGES

(via the-pie-initiative)

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i’m 101% sure that this entire line was improv and tom couldn’t help it

“Yeah, that was basically, we did about six different versions of that story, and that was just us standing around while the cameras were rolling and I would just feed them lines and feed Chris ideas for stories. I’d say, “Do another one, in this one say: ‘I was walking through a field, and I saw a lovey Turkish rug in the middle of the grass, and I love Turkish rugs, so I went to stand on it, and it was Loki, and he turned back into Loki and there was a hole and I fell through the hole was was impaled on a whole lot of spikes.’” So we did versions of that, and the one with the snake just ended up being the one we used.”
—Taika Waititi, Empire Magazine Podcast, 6/11/17, 00:23:25 (x)

AMAZING

I choose to beliee every version of this story is true

and is just a different tale of when Loki turned into something ridiculous

and tried to murder his brother

I don’t know what makes this funnier, the idea that Loki kept trying the same prank, or that Thor kept falling for it.

Thor: OH LOOK A PUPPY

Loki: WAAAAUUUGGGHHHHH

Thor: OH NO IT’S YOU AGAIN!

@crockpotcauldron

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so when some dude with a beard puts on flannel and chops a tree down, hes some kind of strong sensual alpha male. ok what about when a woman puts on flannel and like, i dont know, saws a plank of wood in half or something, and shes faintly sweaty and not wearing a bra, and her hands are calloused and like, i dont know, shes got a 1980s lesbian haircut and a big and tough but friendly dog named “buster” and a scar on her right shoulder and you’re in a pine forest also. wheres the candle for that. thats the kind of shit i like to think about when i’m in the bath. you’re missing out on a valuable market he re, yankee candle

You know, I grew up under the shadow of mad cow disease. Spent most of my childhood banned from having gummy bears because my mother was suspicious of gelatin. I’m still not allowed to donate blood because of my proximity to beef of questionable quality. I think that’s lifelong, actually.

I’m not entirely sure I am immune to tetanus, since my last vaccination went directly into a vein and then I started barfing everywhere.

I am regularly exposed to lizard bodily fluids and it’s only a matter of time before one of them gives me salmonella.

I just caught cat butt disease from a filthy hole in the wall and then spent a few days worrying about whether I also have rabies.

I’m an organ donor.

May god have mercy on whatever poor chump thinks my organs are an upgrade.

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Things don’t taste as salty as they should.

Is it because I’ve been drinking so much tea?

Body suit that is limited mature spreading himself
Franceska Jaimes fucks huge schlong in abandoned house Kary la de ocotlan jalisco Drunk sluts are impaled during the party

There is a decent sized iguana in the neighborhood. Not a six-foot adult with all the frills and spikes, but green and maybe four feet long, with a body the size of my shoe. It pooped next to my mom’s car.

Today we found it in our backyard, clinging desperately to the netting at the top of the cat fence while the cats watched it with fascination and horror.

We opened the gate and it ran away.

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this is what a hobbit would mug you with

not idly do the leaves of lorien cut a bitch

(Source: , via morathor)

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I don’t even know. It’s from a book about languages my friend’s been reading. (it’s creepy that I can understand it …)

It was actually invented with that purpose: anyone who spoke any European language should be able to understand esperanto. It was meant to be a lingua franca.

STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING Y’ALL AND TELL ME IF YOU UNDERSTAND THIS

I,understand about a half of it, I speak some dutch

“What Happened? Did your computer catch a virus? Did you suddenly develop BSE [mad cow disease]?”

Between German, English, Latin, a bit of French, Dutch, Spanish and Italian that was actually pretty readable to me.

I speak English and a very little spanish, and I can read it. 

Super legible and I love it.

There are a few movies done partly or entirely in Esperanto, the most famous probably being Leslie Stevens’ Incubus (1966), a horror film starring William Shatner!

Speak English, know some Spanish and German. I could read this without much hassle and now I’m in awe.

I speak English, German, French and some Itailian, so this feels pretty natural to me. It makes a lot of sense to me, actually, because that’s just an extreme example of ho w multilingual people actually talk.

I speak English and studied Latin in high school… I can follow about eighty, ninety percent of this.

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iamagrasshoppermouse replied to your post: 
Coptic may work or you can use something ribbon–larger surface means more surface tension when tying everything together. But whatever you use, that looks cool as hell.

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Ribbon? But yeah it is so cool looking. It has a golden shimmer to it in the light, and I got it under weird circumstances, so it’s already awesome. 

space-angst replied to your post:
Tying bows with twine would probably work?

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I dunno, I think that would be a pretty wobbly solution. I’ve been looking up Coptic binding, and I think I might give it a shot?